Busy Busy

I have been so busy and not busy all at the same time. Mainly I am overwhelmed I think. To catch everyone up, I start Culinary school May 12! Hooray!! I am so excited and scared at the same time. This is my dream and now that is real to me I am experiencing some self doubt. What if I am not good enough? What if I end up hating it? Now I know that I am being silly. I have a natural talent when it comes to baking and cooking, I just need to be refined. Well I'm sure I will be okay when school actually starts.

My sweet little Boo has morphed into a hateful teenager at 3. Yes, it is true! My little darling baby that I rocked, who cooed and smiled at me is now sassy. The other day she did something she wasn't supposed to do so I sent her in the house to time out. When she was walking away from me she started saying how she didn't love me anymore. I told her that I love her very much and that is why she is in trouble. She then started crying that I wasn't fair. Seriously?! I didn't think that I would have to deal with this attitude for a few years! I'm not ready for it.

Last week due to a series of events I ended up staying at the love's house for 3 days. We had some bad days during that time and I can't believe how we managed to laugh it all off and work it out. We had so much fun, doing absolutely nothing other then just being with each other and the kiddos. Since leaving my love's I have missed him more then I thought was possible. I find it amazing how my love for him keeping growing.

Cabin Fever

It's been a snow day, yesterday was a snow day, and tomorrow will be a snow day. Then snow is predicted tomorrow night. Snow is really nice and pretty in theory, but I live in North Texas. It is not supposed to snow in North Texas. The Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex is a huge sheet of ice. I see a really big problem with this; no one here knows how to drive in this crap!!!! We live in Texas for a reason and guess what??? It's not because of white winters!

So this means I have been stuck inside, which really isn't an issue considering I am a stay at home mom. I don't leave my house for days on end but it's the thought that I can't leave my house. I feel trapped and I hate feeling trapped. Ugh go away snow!

I never would have dreamed....

Three months ago I wanted my tubes tied, cut, and burnt. I'm not a kiddy type of person, never have been. Children typically like me, and I love a select few which includes my own offspring. But I'm not an over the top I need a baby type of person. In fact I would have never dreamed that I would have a child. But I was the recipient of an unexpected blessing. I have an amazing 3 girl little girl. She is perfect in every way, I worship the ground she walks on.

So the past couple of months I have been kicking around the idea of possibly one day having another baby. Boo's father wasn't there for the pregnancy or for her life and I have this deal about doing things the right way at least once. So a couple of weeks ago I go to the doctor for an issue I have had literally all of my life. The answer: medicine that I CANNOT get pregnant while taking, the real kicker there aren't any alternatives.

I'm okay not having more children when it's my decision. But this isn't my decision. I feel like my future, at least my uterus' future, has been chosen for me and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I feel like a jerk for feeling this way because there are many people who can't even have one. But mainly I kinda just want to be sad and cry about it and that feels wrong too.

Spanking

Before I start this post, yes Bobbi I remember what you told me, but oh my gosh it drives me nuts!!

I spank my child, and I have a paddle that I use. Now if you need to take a minute to process that.....okay that's long enough. My mom spanked me as a child, and every spanking I received I deserved. I am not depressed, suicidal, abusive to my child, a criminal, a sadist, nor do I walk around smacking people upside the head (although I want to quite frequently). I do not spank my child daily or even monthly. I never spank in anger and my daughter does not walk around fearful of me hitting her.

There is a proper way to spank children and some children need to be spanked. Spanking does not work on all children and that's cool too. I think that our society is worse off since so many parents don't spank their children. If you look back to the times where it was "normal and healthy" to spank there was less violence. There was also fewer problem kids. It drives me nuts when I see parents bash other parents for doing something different then themselves. Just because I spank does not mean I abuse my child. It means I am intelligent enough utilize a wonderful and effective tool that my child responds to. And since I use this tool it means that my child OBEYS me.

That is my stance on the subject, bash away if you like. Either way I am going to continue doing what works for my family.

Lots of Love!

It's Been Awhile...

So once again I have taken an extended leave of absence from blogging. I have been focusing on many other things while I was gone. A lot of personal growth and family things that needed to be done for Boo and myself.

So to catch you all up in the ever exciting Mackland... I have been pursuing my passion of cake decorating and have decided to make a career of it. I am planning on attending culinary school this May. I have meant two very special someones and hope to make them a part of my family one day. Boo is still Boo, mean as all get out but yet adorable and is capable of melting my heart with one glance and sweet smile. I have made some new friends and lost some others along my journey. But that is the way life goes.

At the end of the day, I am still me. Love me, hate me, I don't care; I am happy with myself and that's all that matters.

Lots of love to you all!