I never would have dreamed....

Three months ago I wanted my tubes tied, cut, and burnt. I'm not a kiddy type of person, never have been. Children typically like me, and I love a select few which includes my own offspring. But I'm not an over the top I need a baby type of person. In fact I would have never dreamed that I would have a child. But I was the recipient of an unexpected blessing. I have an amazing 3 girl little girl. She is perfect in every way, I worship the ground she walks on.

So the past couple of months I have been kicking around the idea of possibly one day having another baby. Boo's father wasn't there for the pregnancy or for her life and I have this deal about doing things the right way at least once. So a couple of weeks ago I go to the doctor for an issue I have had literally all of my life. The answer: medicine that I CANNOT get pregnant while taking, the real kicker there aren't any alternatives.

I'm okay not having more children when it's my decision. But this isn't my decision. I feel like my future, at least my uterus' future, has been chosen for me and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I feel like a jerk for feeling this way because there are many people who can't even have one. But mainly I kinda just want to be sad and cry about it and that feels wrong too.

Spanking

Before I start this post, yes Bobbi I remember what you told me, but oh my gosh it drives me nuts!!

I spank my child, and I have a paddle that I use. Now if you need to take a minute to process that.....okay that's long enough. My mom spanked me as a child, and every spanking I received I deserved. I am not depressed, suicidal, abusive to my child, a criminal, a sadist, nor do I walk around smacking people upside the head (although I want to quite frequently). I do not spank my child daily or even monthly. I never spank in anger and my daughter does not walk around fearful of me hitting her.

There is a proper way to spank children and some children need to be spanked. Spanking does not work on all children and that's cool too. I think that our society is worse off since so many parents don't spank their children. If you look back to the times where it was "normal and healthy" to spank there was less violence. There was also fewer problem kids. It drives me nuts when I see parents bash other parents for doing something different then themselves. Just because I spank does not mean I abuse my child. It means I am intelligent enough utilize a wonderful and effective tool that my child responds to. And since I use this tool it means that my child OBEYS me.

That is my stance on the subject, bash away if you like. Either way I am going to continue doing what works for my family.

Lots of Love!

It's Been Awhile...

So once again I have taken an extended leave of absence from blogging. I have been focusing on many other things while I was gone. A lot of personal growth and family things that needed to be done for Boo and myself.

So to catch you all up in the ever exciting Mackland... I have been pursuing my passion of cake decorating and have decided to make a career of it. I am planning on attending culinary school this May. I have meant two very special someones and hope to make them a part of my family one day. Boo is still Boo, mean as all get out but yet adorable and is capable of melting my heart with one glance and sweet smile. I have made some new friends and lost some others along my journey. But that is the way life goes.

At the end of the day, I am still me. Love me, hate me, I don't care; I am happy with myself and that's all that matters.

Lots of love to you all!