Three months ago I wanted my tubes tied, cut, and burnt. I'm not a kiddy type of person, never have been. Children typically like me, and I love a select few which includes my own offspring. But I'm not an over the top I need a baby type of person. In fact I would have never dreamed that I would have a child. But I was the recipient of an unexpected blessing. I have an amazing 3 girl little girl. She is perfect in every way, I worship the ground she walks on.
So the past couple of months I have been kicking around the idea of possibly one day having another baby. Boo's father wasn't there for the pregnancy or for her life and I have this deal about doing things the right way at least once. So a couple of weeks ago I go to the doctor for an issue I have had literally all of my life. The answer: medicine that I CANNOT get pregnant while taking, the real kicker there aren't any alternatives.
I'm okay not having more children when it's my decision. But this isn't my decision. I feel like my future, at least my uterus' future, has been chosen for me and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I feel like a jerk for feeling this way because there are many people who can't even have one. But mainly I kinda just want to be sad and cry about it and that feels wrong too.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Spanking
Before I start this post, yes Bobbi I remember what you told me, but oh my gosh it drives me nuts!!
I spank my child, and I have a paddle that I use. Now if you need to take a minute to process that.....okay that's long enough. My mom spanked me as a child, and every spanking I received I deserved. I am not depressed, suicidal, abusive to my child, a criminal, a sadist, nor do I walk around smacking people upside the head (although I want to quite frequently). I do not spank my child daily or even monthly. I never spank in anger and my daughter does not walk around fearful of me hitting her.
There is a proper way to spank children and some children need to be spanked. Spanking does not work on all children and that's cool too. I think that our society is worse off since so many parents don't spank their children. If you look back to the times where it was "normal and healthy" to spank there was less violence. There was also fewer problem kids. It drives me nuts when I see parents bash other parents for doing something different then themselves. Just because I spank does not mean I abuse my child. It means I am intelligent enough utilize a wonderful and effective tool that my child responds to. And since I use this tool it means that my child OBEYS me.
That is my stance on the subject, bash away if you like. Either way I am going to continue doing what works for my family.
Lots of Love!
I spank my child, and I have a paddle that I use. Now if you need to take a minute to process that.....okay that's long enough. My mom spanked me as a child, and every spanking I received I deserved. I am not depressed, suicidal, abusive to my child, a criminal, a sadist, nor do I walk around smacking people upside the head (although I want to quite frequently). I do not spank my child daily or even monthly. I never spank in anger and my daughter does not walk around fearful of me hitting her.
There is a proper way to spank children and some children need to be spanked. Spanking does not work on all children and that's cool too. I think that our society is worse off since so many parents don't spank their children. If you look back to the times where it was "normal and healthy" to spank there was less violence. There was also fewer problem kids. It drives me nuts when I see parents bash other parents for doing something different then themselves. Just because I spank does not mean I abuse my child. It means I am intelligent enough utilize a wonderful and effective tool that my child responds to. And since I use this tool it means that my child OBEYS me.
That is my stance on the subject, bash away if you like. Either way I am going to continue doing what works for my family.
Lots of Love!
Friday, January 28, 2011
It's Been Awhile...
So once again I have taken an extended leave of absence from blogging. I have been focusing on many other things while I was gone. A lot of personal growth and family things that needed to be done for Boo and myself.
So to catch you all up in the ever exciting Mackland... I have been pursuing my passion of cake decorating and have decided to make a career of it. I am planning on attending culinary school this May. I have meant two very special someones and hope to make them a part of my family one day. Boo is still Boo, mean as all get out but yet adorable and is capable of melting my heart with one glance and sweet smile. I have made some new friends and lost some others along my journey. But that is the way life goes.
At the end of the day, I am still me. Love me, hate me, I don't care; I am happy with myself and that's all that matters.
Lots of love to you all!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
My Religion
As most of the people close to me know, I am becoming quite involved in church. I love it, I would go everyday if I could. Bella goes to nursery and she loves it there. She is always asking to go to church and she gets really excited when she "finds" the church. The other day as we were leaving she informed me that she, "...loves Jesus very very much." When those words came out of her precious mouth it made my heart jump. I want her to feel that fire, I want her to be raised in that environment.
I am trying really hard to be a good faithful Christian. I know I slip, and fall and I know that I won't be perfect, and I'm okay with that. Yesterday I listened to an awesome service. The pastor did an amazing job on really explaining some basics. He said that people who were really Christians had a grateful heart and wanted to do good works to glorify God, not to boast about their good works. He also said one great statement, that perfect church people won't help people who need help, but grateful people will. He then gave an example of a meth addict or alcoholic. Those of you close to me, know who my alcoholic is. And I was faced with a tough situation regarding him about a week ago. I knew the situation was a sign from God, a test, a lesson, but I didn't understand it. I prayed for God to give me a plain as day answer, and God does answer prayers. He gave me an answer yesterday.
So yesterday after leaving church I called my alcoholic and his situation has changed, he is in the position to go back to his old self. And I'm faced with a dilemma, do I do the works of a good church person or do I run away? To all of my Christian readers, keep me in your prayers, I need it.
I am trying really hard to be a good faithful Christian. I know I slip, and fall and I know that I won't be perfect, and I'm okay with that. Yesterday I listened to an awesome service. The pastor did an amazing job on really explaining some basics. He said that people who were really Christians had a grateful heart and wanted to do good works to glorify God, not to boast about their good works. He also said one great statement, that perfect church people won't help people who need help, but grateful people will. He then gave an example of a meth addict or alcoholic. Those of you close to me, know who my alcoholic is. And I was faced with a tough situation regarding him about a week ago. I knew the situation was a sign from God, a test, a lesson, but I didn't understand it. I prayed for God to give me a plain as day answer, and God does answer prayers. He gave me an answer yesterday.
So yesterday after leaving church I called my alcoholic and his situation has changed, he is in the position to go back to his old self. And I'm faced with a dilemma, do I do the works of a good church person or do I run away? To all of my Christian readers, keep me in your prayers, I need it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Our Children
Just before I decided to write this post I received an e-mail from babycenter.com titled "Is your child gifted?" Now I did sign up for babycenter.com and a few other sites when I found out that I was pregnant to learn as much information as possible about babies, and trust me I'm not knocking these sites. I have found a lot of good information on them.
However, I am knocking us as a society of parents. Do we really need someone else to tell us if our children are gifted? What happened to our kids just being special the way they are? Do I think Bella is gifted? Absolutely, I bet you feel the same about your kids. Am I going to be crushed when Bella starts school if she ends up being "average"? Nope, because I biased. Babycenter.com knows my kid is 2 years old, an "Is your child gifted?" e-mail really doesn't benefit me in any way.
So I propose that all of us parents stop treating our children like they COULD be gifted and act like they ARE gifted and I bet we might end up with more ACTUAL gifted children, just a thought.
KISSES
Kenzi
However, I am knocking us as a society of parents. Do we really need someone else to tell us if our children are gifted? What happened to our kids just being special the way they are? Do I think Bella is gifted? Absolutely, I bet you feel the same about your kids. Am I going to be crushed when Bella starts school if she ends up being "average"? Nope, because I biased. Babycenter.com knows my kid is 2 years old, an "Is your child gifted?" e-mail really doesn't benefit me in any way.
So I propose that all of us parents stop treating our children like they COULD be gifted and act like they ARE gifted and I bet we might end up with more ACTUAL gifted children, just a thought.
KISSES
Kenzi
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Ahhh.....My Life
Ever feel like it's vacation time? I'm ready for a 72 hours in a padded room, wearing a white jacket hugging myself, medicated induced sleep vacation. After all of the events that have happened in about the past 7 months, I'm worn out. But no time for that I must continue on.
I am happy to report that I am getting involved with church, well actually two churches. I have went from bar hopping to church hopping. Totally getting in on God's good side, I am so making it into heaven LOL! But I am very happy to report that Saturday, July 10, 2010 I will not be able to hang on on Twitter or Facebook all morning, nope. I will be at an organization called Shoes for Orphan Souls. I will be busy boxing up shoes to be shipped to orphans all around the world.
I am very happy that I am stepping outside of my box and becoming involved. After I first had Bella I sorta became lost in her a little. I had a grasp on myself because I worked so I had adult interaction, which was nice. After I quit my job last year my life has become completely consumed with Bella, toddlers, friends, and boyfriend. I have been going to church for quite awhile now and since I've really started leading a Christian life God has taken the vast majority of my friends and my boyfriend. I have one friend left, I feel like I am becoming less of McKenzie and more of just Bella's mom. So I have decided that I am going to recapture myself and become involved in the world around me, and here is the best part....YOU ARE ALL COMING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!! BAWHAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry, had too LOL!
I hope you enjoy hearing about my adventures of becoming a person again and I know I said it last time but it won't be so long before you hear from me again.
KISSES
Kenzi
I am happy to report that I am getting involved with church, well actually two churches. I have went from bar hopping to church hopping. Totally getting in on God's good side, I am so making it into heaven LOL! But I am very happy to report that Saturday, July 10, 2010 I will not be able to hang on on Twitter or Facebook all morning, nope. I will be at an organization called Shoes for Orphan Souls. I will be busy boxing up shoes to be shipped to orphans all around the world.
I am very happy that I am stepping outside of my box and becoming involved. After I first had Bella I sorta became lost in her a little. I had a grasp on myself because I worked so I had adult interaction, which was nice. After I quit my job last year my life has become completely consumed with Bella, toddlers, friends, and boyfriend. I have been going to church for quite awhile now and since I've really started leading a Christian life God has taken the vast majority of my friends and my boyfriend. I have one friend left, I feel like I am becoming less of McKenzie and more of just Bella's mom. So I have decided that I am going to recapture myself and become involved in the world around me, and here is the best part....YOU ARE ALL COMING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!! BAWHAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry, had too LOL!
I hope you enjoy hearing about my adventures of becoming a person again and I know I said it last time but it won't be so long before you hear from me again.
KISSES
Kenzi
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Clarification
On yesterday's post regarding the analogy of mine and Derek's relationship to that of Bella and Jacob's relationship post Renesmee, Derek so kindly pointed out that people would assume he has or will "imprint" on my Bella. This is not the case. Think of the friendship that Jacob and Bella have sans Renesmee. Thanks again D-ROCK!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
